useless questions for Philippe, translated

"Philippe, how do you say 'raccoon' in French?"

"What?"

"They're animals. I don't know if they only exist in the US or what. They have... Wait, how do you say 'tail'?"

"...What?"

[vague pantomime]

"Oh! Queue!"

"Right. They're animals with a long tail, shaped sort of like this, with lines on it."

"Les ratons-laveurs? They smell bad, and they wash their food before they eat it?"

"Uh, maybe. They have hands, like people. And they look like they're wearing masks."

"Yes! Ratons-laveurs. You know, because they're like rats, but they wash their food. We have them in Europe, mostly in Germany I think. Only in places where there's a lot of water."

"Oh. You see them everywhere in the US. They get into people's trash cans and stuff... Actually, I forget why I asked this question in the first place."

There you have it, America. In France, raccoons are called "little washer-rats."

mysteries

oday on the way back from class I came across a mouse flattened on the sidewalk. It wasn't a dramatic, unpleasant flattening, not like a mouse was just sitting and got a piano dropped on it. It had remained mouselike, but been shrunk down heightwise to a few millimeters, like somebody was projecting the image of a mouse onto the sidewalk. It looked vaguely mummified. And this was baffling for several reasons.

1. How does a mouse get flattened on a sidewalk? By an extremely wide bicycle? By the cumulative force of hundreds of pedestrians? Readers: have you ever stepped on a mouse? I haven't. I wouldn't expect a lot of people to step on a mouse. How many people have to step on a mouse before it is reduced to paper? I lot, I bet.

2. What happened to the other 90% of its mass? I will accept that it was probably about 70% water, which is gone now, hence the mummification. But what about the rest of it? I mean, if you mummify a human it's still pretty big, even (I assume) if you flatten it out after the fact.

Anyway, long story short, I saw a flat mouse. It was pretty interesting.